


Wanna Cry

by Zstar385



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cannon Events Happened except the kiss with Ron during the battle, Death, Depression, F/M, Implied/Reference to suicidal thoughts, Lots of angst but ends with love and stronger characters, Only minor AU with regards to relationships, References to Depression, Starts post war, physical violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:47:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29906157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zstar385/pseuds/Zstar385
Summary: Hermione and Fred had hid their relationship from everyone and only upon his death did his twin find out. Trying to rebuild herself after the darkness of the war consumed her for 7 years isn't easy and its harder when it feels like no one is there to help. George knows what is going on and is trying to be there as he was charged to do. But can two people who are hiding how deep the hurt goes lean on each other? Or will it require the utter destruction of one to save the other? A not fluffy but love happens anyway Germione story
Relationships: Angelina Johnson/Fred Weasley, Angelina Johnson/George Weasley, Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley, Hermione Granger/George Weasley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Wanna Cry

**Author's Note:**

> I am testing to see if there is any interest in this. I have done something that I never thought I would do, Fred doesn't live. It's heartbreaking to even type that but the resulting situation is expressed in the story. This is not fluffy. It's dark and ends well but it's not a bright path to get there. If there is interest in it, I'll keep going as I haven't finished writing this yet. I actually only have 3 chapters and could, in theory, end it with number 4 but if there's no need to go forward, I won't force it. :) So, let me know what you think. Again, I warn you, if you're looking for happy and sweet, please don't read this and get upset. Especially this chapter, there is no happy to be found.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own none of the HP Cannon events nor do I own the characters I am playing with. I make no money off of this. The only thing I get from this is to see my own personal HP Videos be translated to word for others to enjoy.

**Prologue**

In its many centuries of existence, Hogwarts had been home to a lot of things: students, teachers, lost souls, ghosts, dreams, sadness, fear, tears, screams, and secrets. Throughout her six consecutive years within its hallowed halls, Hermione Granger had experienced more than her fair share of all of it. The responsibility of keeping her best friends alive while dealing had almost been more than she could handle. It would have been if not for the laughter...and love of the man in the casket in front of her. Fred Weasley. Her biggest secret. Her biggest regret. The grief was more painful than the many scars she'd picked up in her 18 years. The weight almost crushing her still malnourished self in on her. A weight that no one could help her with as no one had known about the relationship between her and the feistier red headed twin.

Hermione stood there, the wind whipping her mane of chocolate curls around to match the turmoil in her heart. Her fire, that had spurred Harry and Ron on for so many months, entirely gone. Instead her brown eyes were flat, constantly monitoring, even as they stared ahead. Her need to keep herself together had shoved everything so far behind her occlumency walls that she hoped to never see it again. She wasn't strong enough for this. So, she stood in silence as the funeral went on. As the Weasley family wept and wailed their grief into the wind that slapped her in the face; a punishment for her lack of tears. The sting of her hair snapping against her face pushing the burning in her eyes back, a reminder that she wasn't supposed to be a part of this. He wasn't supposed to be so silent. He should be standing here with his family, cocooned safely in their love. At the very least, she should be in the box instead. She'd served her purpose after all. Harry had been kept alive just to die; come back; and kill Voldemort. There was no reason for her to be standing there instead of him. He had so much more to give the world than she ever could. He was worth something and her worth had come only from Harry's purpose and Fred’s laughter. With both gone...she was wasted space.

She could feel herself sliding closer and closer to the edge, the blackness dragging her. She had nothing to hold onto to stop it though. So, she just kept pushing back the emotions she wasn't supposed to be feeling and trying not to beg the universe to fix its mistake and take her instead.

Staring into the hole as the man she loved was lowered down, Hermione didn't notice the dull blue eyed matching face she longed to see again watching her through his own watery eyes. George couldn't pull his eyes away from the casket any more than she could. But he could see her, the scarily still figure that seemed to radiate with stifled emotion, in the corner of his eye. He knew she wasn't as unaffected as others had been whispering about. He'd heard the muffled tears in the Burrow's kitchen when she thought everyone was asleep. He had not approached her so he wasn't sure what kept her up at night. What caused the obviously heartbroken sobs in the wee hours. He could barely function enough to meet the basics of human day-to-day life. He was barely treading water and he knew he was one false kick away from going under.

It didn't help that he wasn't sleeping. He hadn't been able to do so since the wall fell. Not that it mattered really. Life was a waking nightmare that continued when he tried to close his eyes. He was stuck at the Burrow because George couldn't force himself to go back to their flat and see the proof that Freddie was supposed to be coming home. He wasn't supposed to be in the ground. He wasn't supposed to leave him. They were connected, together, always. The gaping wound left by Freddie leaving was filled with the tears he was constantly crying inside...even if tears outside were rarely seen by others.

George couldn't have stopped the tears. He had tried but this was the pinnacle "can't hide" moment of his nightmare. He usually woke up before this point. Or, he would blink, shove off whatever he was sitting on and shuffle blindly to do what he was supposed to be doing. But here, standing within the ranks of his grieving family, it was the proof that, even though he knew it wasn't a dream, that there would be no Freddie shaped miracle at the last moment. His twin was gone. He was alone and utterly bereft. He knew there were people who cared. He knew his family was hurting but would gladly hold him...but he couldn't seem to understand it. Fred was his center, his tether with the family, and without it...he couldn't....well couldn't anything really.

After losing his ear, Fred had basically glued himself to George. The reality of the war had been brought home in the starkest of terms for the both of them. The wake-up had been jarring and terrifying for them both. George's first thought through the pain was the fear of what would happen to Fred if he didn't make it back. It never crossed his mind that Fred would end up being the one to leave first. His brush with Snape's wand is what drove them more and more to work on the defensive line at the store. The joke became less about children laughing and more about laughing at those who would hurt them to find they couldn't. Joke's on me, George thought as he stared at the broken remains of their dreams, they didn't save us all in the end. With a quick glance back at the still silent figure who still hadn't moved, George shuffled away in the wake of the rest of his family.

***

It was almost two weeks before George could push himself to go back to their apartment above the shop. While he had slowly been working his way further and further into the store the whole time, until he was able to mostly shuffle around the space without breaking down, he couldn’t force himself to go up the stairs. The store, while hard to be in, was tempered by the sheer amount of us in it. It was their dream. It had been decorated and stocked with their wildest wishes and wants. George felt himself just as much as he felt Fred within the walls. He knew that going up those stairs would throw him into a wall of pure Fred. It was a terrifying and heartbreaking thought. Instead, he had focused on cleaning up the mess; restocking the floor; and rehiring the staff so that he could start the solo journey to fulfill their goals. But he couldn’t put it off forever.

The first step through the door took hours of standing on the top step, working the lock back and forth, and breathing through numerous panic attacks. Looking around, he was frozen. The place was scarily untouched and…bursting with Fred’s magic. There was nothing out of place except for the sheer amount of raw untouched Fred that permeated the space. It took a bit before George was sure he could actually move or if he really was going to fall to his knees in the doorway. It was in making his way to the love seat with a ’Weasley 12’ Quiddich Jersey that he saw the envelope on the low table. The writing was unmistakably his brother’s and for one heart stopping minute, he thought that the whole thing might have been a dream and Fred would come bounding out of his room complaining about whatever had caused the explosion of his magic. The letter brought him crashing back to reality, almost drowning him under the violent wave of grief that hit him. The magic was because the enchantment on the letter had been broken upon Fred’s death. He could feel his brother radiating from the parchment.

George forced himself to breathe; to finish opening the envelope; and to read what his brother had left him. Fred’s final words and confessions wrapped around him with a strangling intensity and new purpose. _I’ve loved Hermione for years. Besides you, she’s been the thing holding me together through this craziness. If you’re reading this, she’s alone. Please help her, be there for her, because it’s almost guaranteed that if Harry and Ron make it through, they won’t be. She’s more than what people expect from her. But she won’t show anyone. She’ll hide and slowly die. Please help her but don’t let the family know about us. It will only bring about problems for her with mum and the younger ones._

George was gob smacked. He had never suspected Hermione was the girl. He’d known there was someone after Angelina, but he’d never been able to get Fred to confess. He was suddenly besieged with Hermione’s reaction at the funeral and realized that Fred’s feelings hadn’t been one sided. Looking down, he was surprised to see tears blotching the parchment in his hands. _Keep our dream alive, Forge...Don't allow sadness to hide your laughter...I Love you, Forge...Live for us both_.

With a strangled sob, George curled onto the couch and let the tears fall unchecked until exhaustion finally pulled him into oblivion.


End file.
